One thing I have learned about happiness in the past few years is that it isn’t something that you just ARE.
The truth is that happiness takes CONSCIOUS WORK! Anyone can throw a smile on their face, put a mask on to APPEAR as if they are happy to others around them (especially on social media!) smile and then snap that photo….but to be GENUINELY HAPPY within…..to be HAPPY about yourself – takes WORK!
Even then, maintaining that happiness even when you fail or make mistakes is a struggle. You have to work at it, just like you work at anything else in life that you want!
And, sometimes it can be HARD to be happy and positive in a world where there is a lot of negativity, comparison and envy.
So…….how are happy are you? For real…..sit down and REALLY think about it. Look in the mirror and ASK YOURSELF out loud that question – then answer it. I’ve found that you can’t LIE while looking at yourself! (unless you are a sociopath! 🙂 )
Instant Gratification Won’t Produce Happiness
Ya see…..HAPPINESS is something that needs to be practiced DAILY! It becomes a habit – like brushing your teeth.
We live in a world where everyone wants things NOW, if something isn’t working or we feel the slight pull of tension – we have a tendency to just quit. It’s easier to just scroll social media, or read some mind-numbing news, or distract yourself from the things that you want.
But that creates internal conflict because your actions are most likely then not lining up with what you envision for your life.
It’s that INSTANT GRATIFICATION mentality that’s making it harder and harder for people to exude GENUINE happiness of their well being and of their LIFE in general.
For example, let’s say you have a project due at work. Instead of getting going on the project, you procrastinate or waste time on some things that give you short term enjoyment (checking your phone, binge-watching Netflix, gossiping with friends). But at the end of the day, you feel unfulfilled. That’s because deep down, you know doing the project, even if it seems painful in the moment, will move you towards your goals or purpose, while burning time leaves you in the same place with a feeling of emptiness.
I’m sure we’ve all started a sentence by saying….. “WON’T IT BE GREAT WHEN…..” (I go to college, fall in love, have kids, etc.).
And at the same time we also hear older people start sentences with this phrase “WASN’T IT GREAT THEN…” That’s where we are totally messing up guys!!!!
When do we EVER hear people say “Isn’t this GREAT right now?!”
If you are chasing happiness – you will be chasing for a long time.
So the tip is – find joy in what you are doing and learn to enjoy the process, not the result. When you learn to enjoy the process; you find the joy in the activities (even if you don’t feel like doing them) and you feel aligned.
Be Happy With Where You Are
I’m challenging you all to BE HAPPY with WHO you are, where you are in LIFE, to STOP playing the COMPARISON GAME and to truly see that if you want ALL other areas of your life to be AWESOME, it first has to start with YOU being genuinely HAPPY with YOURSELF FIRST!!!
If you aren’t happy with where you are or who you are; start to make some small gradual changes so you can grow into the person you are really meant to be! THIS is when you will start to see ALL AREAS in your life become BRIGHTER and BETTER!
Think about a setback you have had –
When you were a child or even in your 20’s – you probably had some visions about how your life would play out. Here is what happens for many people – a failure or setback occurs, and then that failure or setback becomes the story you tell yourself. You literally identify with your failures. You train yourself to expect the same results next time, even though you can always produce new results.
Here is an example:
- What happened: You tried getting into shape before and you failed.
- What you told yourself: I’m never going to get into shape, or I can’t get into shape
- What happens the next time an opportunity to make a change happens? “I’ve already tried and failed before, this time won’t be any different”.
If you don’t change this mindset and become aware of it, these types of stories can carry you through your entire life! Think about someone who has told you – I’m too old, so I can’t do X.
or, “Who, me?? Yeah right! I’m too (fill in the blank).”
Again – you can learn to be happy with where you are. These setbacks can be seen as great moments where you can learn from them. I always ask myself, “How would I want my children to interpret a failure of theirs?”. Is my behavior setting the example for how I would want them to think about it? If not, I probably need to make a change!
If you were in our mindset group a few weeks back, we talked about this a lot – and I’m turning that into a free, email based 5 day course, so stay tuned and you can get that for free when it comes out!
You deserve to be happy!
And realize this one last thing……..
NO ONE……. HAS IT ALL! Comparing yourself to other people and thinking they “HAVE IT ALL” just impedes on your happiness and creates jealousy. And that sh*t will eat you alive and rip you apart inside.
xxoo Love you guys!