Building Our Children’s Growth Mindset

{Lightly edited video transcript below!}

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Have you ever just really thought I wish there was more focus on children’s mindset? I really wish that there was more emphasis on that and that we could teach our kids how to have a positive mental attitude, how to really go out there, make the most out of life, and teach them this GROWTH mindset from an early on age.

I have two little kids at home, five and four, and I also was a teacher for 10 years. I have my master’s degree in special education and stopped doing that to be a stay at home mom with my two kids. For the past 10+ years, this has been something that I’ve noticed when I was in the classroom and I really wish that we could focus more on the children’s mindset at an early on age. Normally what we do we wait, and we wait, wait, wait, wait, wait until kids are in college or even done with college for them to start learning about a growth mindset, teaching them how to persevere, and other life skills. Different kinds of traits that really should be instilled from an early on age – even preschool and kindergarten.

Kids aren’t meant to live in this box for their entire life. They’re not meant to go to school and then just work, and be in this box forever. More and more kids are going on, and they’re graduating from college, and they’re getting these jobs. Whether they’re in leadership roles or not, more and more of those people are less and less happy, and they’re not fulfilled. It’s because they’re not meant to be living their life in this box.

The world is changing, and education has to keep up. Grooming for a job won’t work for everyone!

More and more kids are going on to run their own businesses, and be their own boss, and the world is changing. We need to teach this growth mindset and how to develop a positive mental attitude to children when they’re young, so that they can go on and they can live their best life possible. They will be able to take the world on no matter what happens to them and their mind will be right.

Imagine what would happen. Maybe there would be less school shootings down the road. People would go on to really learn what they were capable of. Maybe people wouldn’t quit so easily. They’d learn that it’s okay to fail and fall on face. That it’s all teaching moments. But, nobody ever taught me this in school and I had parents, luckily, who told me that when you start something, you need to finish it.

Finish what you start!

20180525 Kids MindsetEncourage your kids to try hard at something when they’re at home and that it’s not okay to quit at something. My daughter, Kiersten started dance. She was doing ballet, tap, jazz – and she was really loving it, but then as the dance lessons went on she kept saying “I don’t want to do this. I just want to stop. I want to do gymnastics instead.”

When you choose to start something, then you need to finish it. That’s something my parents taught me when I was little. I would tell Kiersten – “Okay, I understand that you don’t want to go to this anymore. Maybe you don’t like it and you don’t need to sign up for another class once this class is done, but you chose to sign up for this dance lesson, and you’re going to finish it.”

My son said the same thing with his soccer. I asked him “What sport would you like to play?” He chose soccer. He went to a couple soccer practices, and then he said “I don’t want to do soccer, I don’t like it. I’m going to just stop.” I said, “No. You’re not going to stop, because when you choose to do something, you need to finish it. And, you have a team that is relying on you now. You’ve played games with this team, you have a coach that’s relying on you. You have committed to this. Now, when we finish the soccer season, if you don’t want to sign up for another soccer season, then that’s fine. We can choose another sport, but you signed up, so you’re going to finish it.”

It’s not okay for kids to just be a little uncomfortable and feel like this is hard, and just quit. But kids don’t inherently know that because they don’t have anybody teaching them that. It starts at home, with you.

Praise your children as much as you can! Trust me – I know it can get crazy and chaotic. Try hard to be as patient as possible, and find that one thing that they are doing well, and really make a big deal about it, and praise them to push their self-esteem, to boost their confidence.

Frustrations are learning opportunities

Look for little areas every day in your life … start right now and look at something that your child is doing when they come home from school. Pay attention to the areas where they’re getting frustrated, and tell them, and encourage them, and let them know that it’s okay to be frustrated. We’re going to keep practicing at this. We’re going to get it. Things are going to be hard when you first try them, but the more you work at it, the more you practice at it, the easier it becomes.

You have to keep saying this every single day. It’s like when you’re teaching your kids to have good manners. You have to keep reinforcing it over and over and over again – same thing here.

Look at your children today, find an area where you can encourage them to get better, and let them know that it’s okay it’s hard! I know you’re not getting the ball in the hoop right now for basketball. That’s okay. You’re not going to get it on the first time, but you can do hard things.

In our family, the kids actually say “We aren’t giver uppers.” I have teaching this now to them for the past few years. How incredible would it be if all of our children were taught this a little bit every single day?

It starts with at home and we can really change this. Instead of waiting for the entire life to go by when you’re in your late 20’s, early 30’s, to start to work on this and realize that they can actually change my behaviors, and they can actually achieve anything in life that they put  their mind to. They’ve been taught their whole life, that they need to go to school, they need to pass the tests, they need to go to college. They’re going to graduate with a ton of loans, they’re going to be in debt, they’re going to get this job. They’re not going to be fulfilled, and they’re going to be just waiting, waiting, waiting for “When’s it going to come? When’s that next thing going to happen where I actually feel fulfilled?”

Comment below with how you’re going to apply this with your children and something that they’re doing. What’s something that your children are doing and learning that is helping them develop a growth mindset? Or, what’s something that you can do to help them develop that growth mindset?

Thanks for tuning in guys, I really appreciate all your love and support all the time. You guys are amazing and I hope you have an awesome weekend. Bye, guys!

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